UGH

So here I am now contemplating the very real possibility that I may be moving to somewhere else in the state. As part of my obligation to the state I agreed to apply for jobs all over. Somehow I didn't think I would actually have this much trouble finding a job here though. But so far I have applied for three different jobs around the state, most of which are on the complete opposite end of the state (as there's pretty much nothing in the middle here.)

So it looks like I may be uprooting myself again. This will suck for a number of reasons. One, I will be spending a lot more money on rent. I really have a good gig right now living with Chris and Amber with really cheap rent. If I move, suddenly I will be on my own which means paying all the rent myself plus the utilities. Two, I will have to pay to move all of my stuff. I might be able to get Chris to help me move it all with the trailblazer and the trailer but it will still cost a lot in gas money. Then, I'm facing living in a new city which means I have to make new friends all over again, which we all know I'm not all that good at. And I will be living by myself, which again will suck.

On the plus side, maybe I will actually gain the motivation to have a social life if I am not living with anyone, because then I will always be alone if I don't actually get myself out there. Anyway, stay tuned....

Must. Eat. Healthier.

You know it's getting bad when the second you step into the kitchen your roommates look at you suspiciously and ask, "What are you making now?" Which is the point I'm at right now. But since orals are done I no longer have an excuse to make all kinds of fattening junk. We'll see how well I do. For now though, I am cutting back on the fast food since not only is it bad for my waistline it is not doing my wallet any good either. I'm thinking one really fattening meal a week at home and one to two times out for lunch since honestly I really can't help the fact that I need to get away from the office at lunchtime.

Finished!!!!

It's amazing the difference a week can make. Last week at this time I was completely stressed out thinking about my upcoming orals. And now that I have just finished sitting through orals, I am so relieved I cannot even express it. Ok, I probably can but you get the idea. It felt really good to sit there as they were asking me question after question and actually have an answer or an opinion about it and be able to discuss professional issues and the various ways that I would intervene using the practice knowledge I've gained.

And what felt even better is that my orals chair, who I have had for three different classes and has known me since last year, gave me the greatest compliment. She told me that it has been interesting watching me and seeing the growth and progress I have made and coming into my own as a social worker. If you knew her and how incredibly intelligent and talented she is, you would realize what a huge compliment it was. It really made me feel good and gave me a great sense of self-confidence. Anyway, I am glad I am done with that and now I just have to finish out the next month and finish up the two classes I have before graduation. (Oh yeah, and get a job but I am not thinking about that right now.)

Stressed Out!!!!

I am super stressed out these days. Orals are in one week. In fact, at this time next week I will be done with orals and I am sincerely hoping that I pass outright instead of passing with contingencies. I am so done right now I could scream but I just have to make it a little longer....

I am also trying to become employed with the agency I'm working at as well, which is proving much more difficult than I thought it would be. Unfortunately, I did sign my soul to the state in exchange for them paying for my graduate education, but given this fact, I would think they'd be eager to hire me and the other students in my position....but no, it's not to be. Anyway, I may have a nibble right now, so keep your fingers crossed for me.

I've been baking and cooking more than ever recently because of all the stress. (If you ask me, the best way to relieve stress is to bake away your nervousness.) In the past week, I've made chocolate chip cookies, lemon meringue pie, thumbprint cookies, oreo cheesecake, Stromboli, ravioli, and more. Fortunately for me, I do not really enjoy eating all that stuff I make, so it's up to my roommates to do the job for me. They just groan every time I start pulling out the ingredients, but I know they secretly love it. Although I think we are all gaining weight so it will be a good thing when school is over so I will be less stressed out.